March 15, 2011

Things Mommy Says

Did your Mommy ever say that to you?  Mine did right before bed she would always tuck me in and lean in to kiss my cheek and whisper in my ear “Love you to the moon and back baby good night”. Now here is a list of other things Mom’s might say A little “birdy” told me! All I do is follow you around, picking up after you like some maid. Am I talking to a brick wall? Are you deaf or something? Are you lying to me? As long as you live under my roof, you’ll do as I say. Beds are NOT made for jumping on. Call me when you get there, just so I know you’re okay. Close the door! You don’t live in a barn. Did someone make a doody? Did you brush your teeth? Did you comb your hair? Do as I say, not as I do. Do you think I’m made of money? Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up? Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back. Don’t eat that, you’ll get worms! Don’t go out with a wet head, you’ll catch cold. Don’t make me get up! Don’t pick that scab, it’ll get infected. Don’t pick your nose in public. Don’t run in the house. Don’t sit too close to the television, it’ll ruin your eyes. Don’t talk with your mouth full! Don’t walk away when I’m talking to you! Eat your vegetables, they’re good for you. Enough is enough! Go play outside! It’s a beautiful day! Going to a party? Leave a phone number in case I need to call. Going to a party? Who’s going to be there? Going to a party? Will the parents be home? How do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t tasted it? I brought you into this world, and I can take you right back out! I can’t believe you can sleep in this filth! I didn’t ask who put it there, I said “Pick it up!” I don’t care what “everyone” is doing. I care what YOU are doing! I don’t have to explain myself. I said no. I hope someday you have children just like you. I just want what’s best for you. I will always love you – no matter what. If God had wanted you to have holes in your ears (eyebrows, tongue, etc.) He would have put them there! If it were a snake, it would have bitten you. If wishes were horses… If you could stay out last night, you can get up this morning. If you don’t do it NOW, then when are you going to do it? If you stick your tongue out again it will fall off. If you’re too sick to go to school, you’re too sick to play outside. I’m doing this for your own good. I’m going to skin you alive! I’m not going to ask you again. I’m not your cleaning lady! I’m not […]
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